A Beautiful Piece That My Father Wrote

A letter....

Dear Batch-Mates,

The mortal body of my wife, Lani, was finally put to rest into the earth where it rightfully belongs on May13, 4 pm at Manila Memorial Park, Paranaque. However, I’m sure that her soul/spirit is now in heaven with our Creator, where there are no more tears, sickness and pain. She’s now in another life, a better life than here, after passing all the trials and tests that this world could give.

She had a lung disease since1997 (COPD-Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) but she was very sick and bed-ridden for the last four and a half years: also sick with COPD but with tracheostomy tube, supplied with constant medical oxygen and asthma/emphysema/heart/kidney medications.

With the help of God we were able to prolong her life for another 10 years. During her sickness, her faith in and relationship with God/Lord Jesus Christ/HolySpirit continuously strengthened and grew; she was able to raise her two beautiful daughters well; and she was a good wife to me. She was also thespiritual/moral leader of our family and her extended family.

On my part, I learned how to care for the sick, love spiritually and unconditionally, to be patient,humble, kind, meek, gentle, and to have faith in God, which is the fruit of the Holy Spirit. In the process, I learned that the most important things in life areto have strong, good loving and friendly relationships with God, family, friends and other fellow human beings. Career and wealth should only be used as vehicles for living, service to others, to win more souls for Jesus Christ/God and to build-up His Church.

Also, for the past 10 years, I silently and patiently bore the expenses, trials and pain, until I asked for your help…

Thank you for your prayers, condolences and visits during my grief; and for your support during my times of need. Honestly, I was humbled and overwhelmed by the outpouring of prayers, sympathy and support during my hard/low times, which I have never experienced before. I also give thanks to God, to the Lord Jesus Christ, and to the Holy Spirit, Who have never left men or forsaken me; and to the saints who have prayed for me."

- Fernando Santos

(an email to his friends)

Coping Through A Loss...

As what I have told some of you, I took up Nursing (as my second course) so I can take care of my mother. It was quite difficult at first because doing so would mean giving up my childhood dream of becoming a doctor. Since the hospital became our second home due to frequent admissions to the ICU, it made our resources run dry making me resort to my Plan B which is to become a nurse. Unfortunately, my beloved mother passed away last Mother's Day before I took the Nursing Licensure Exam. It was tremendously hard, mind you... I spent almost a week at the wake, attending to the visitors and running errands. I thought about not taking the NLE because the sorrow was too much to bear. And to add to the agony, she was the reason why I took up Nursing in the first place...Is there a reason for me to go on? However, as the saying goes we should trust God whatever happens in our lives because He knows what is best for us...That night before she passed away, we prayed that if she won't have her miracle lungs may God take her with Him in heaven so she won't suffer anymore. God answered our prayers the day after that...Everything happened so fast...

Through our experience, I can say that some things helped and did not help our situation. First, what did help was that a lot of relatives and friends went to the service and showed their support to our family by staying with us all night, cooking for us, looking after our house, collected donations to fund our mother's service, arranged the slideshows of my mother's life and the burial mass...We don't know how we could do it without them...

Second, even after our mother's burial...people were always there to show their empathy. They were the one's who really listened and showed their support and told us not to stop crying...

What did not help were some people telling us that they claim to know how we feel because someone in their family also died and that some people are also having difficult times in their lives right now. They do not recognize that their advice only makes it harder on the part of the bereaved family since all the experiences of loss are different and unique. In addition, some even gave advice on how to put away my mother's things especially her pictures. In our profession as psychologists, we do not recommend putting away the pictures for the reason of forgetting since this action will not aid in the acceptance of a loss of a loved one. It will only make things worse and will even lead to denial and depression.

Four months have passed and our family is healthily coping through the loss...Crying and writing about the experience were cathartic... (an emotional release) Writing about this now still brings tears to my eyes. Talking about our mother and all the good memories that we have shared and compiling her mementos really helped. As the adage goes, “Every human will experience the reality of his or her own death, through actually dying, and perhaps through the observation of the death of family members and friends.”

Yes, it was tremendously difficult losing a mother (the person who greatly influenced me), but life must go on…We should continue on living not only for our families and loved ones but also for other people and mostly for God. After the ordeals, I realized that we have to live our lives to the fullest. At this point, our family became stronger than ever – spiritually, emotionally and socially…

After the trials, I know understood what my purpose is and what is really important in my life : - )

When you pray to God resignedly, as though patiently accepting the punishment of grief at the death of a loved one,

and you say: "Thy will be done O Lord. The Lord giveth, and he taketh away",

you have not yet known the God of love, for God giveth only.

God never takes that which has not been given.

What God gives to you you regive to Him for His regiving.

You rejoice when God gives birth to life,

yet you deeply grieve when you give rebirth to new life -- for that is what death is.
Walter Russell

A Certified Red Cross First Aider

I spent my week training with the Philippine National Red Cross- National Chapter last week on Basic and Advanced Life Support and Basic First Aid. At first, I was quite overwhelmed by the number of practical examinations and written exams on bandaging, splinting and immobilization, Cardio-Pulmonary Resusciation, Rescue Breathing, Foreign Airway Obstruction Management, Emergency Rescue etc. The last examination which was a simulation of a mass tragedy was also quite overwhelming because it was done in the field, complete with props and some of my classmates even acted as victims. However, through the patience of our instructors and the support of my batchmates, it was an awesome week of my life.

Aside from learning how to safe lives, I was also able to meet a lot of people many of whom are also nurses like me. I had also some classmates who were factory workers and engineers and one of those engineers is the one who proposed and invented the solar powered car here in the Philippines.

Our last day of training was spent in the Red Cross booths in SM-Manila as part of their celebration of the National Red Cross Week. The last activity of the day was our graduation wherein each of the group was given the opportunity to showcase their talents and the certificates of excellence were also awarded to selected students. It was actually hard to say goodbye when the graduation ceremony came to and end but we promised to have a reunion sometime soon...

Congratulations to the Certified Life Savers!

Siamo Tutti Fratelli!

Nursing Valedictory Speech

To our University President, Dr. Amelou Benitez-Reyes, Chancellor and VP for Academic Affairs, Research and Publications, Dr. Dolores Baja-Lasan, to the Assistant Vice-President for Academics-QC Campus, Dr. Eden O. Kelemen, beloved dean of the school of nursing, Dr. Yolanda Arugay, associate deans Mrs. Celeste Dimaculangan and Dolores Carrion, president of PWU alumni association, Mrs. Olvia Villafuerte, school administrators, level coordinators, members of the faculty, dear parents, beloved batchmates, schoolmates, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen, a pleasant morning to all of you.
How time flies by so quickly...It was less than two years ago when we decided that we want to take up nursing and set foot in this university. We were full of anxieties then, not knowing what will happen to us after finding ourselves back in school again…As Seneca, a philosopher once said: “It is a tough road that leads to the heights of greatness”. That span of two years is not at all easy…it was full of sleepless nights, stress, hard work, 5-minute showers, 1-minute breakfasts, laughters and tears, good times and bad times, successes and failures. We were also able to make friends and meet different kinds of people from different walks of life…But here we are now, we were able to endure all those challenges as a nursing student. Let us give ourselves a pat on the back for we have gone this far. I hope and pray that our exceptional batch will acquire a 100% passing rate in the upcoming Nursing Board Examinations.
In behalf of the graduating class, we would like to express our heartfelt gratitude to the following for they have contributed a lot to our successes:
To our alma mater, Philippine Women's University, for developing our competencies and skills through gainful lectures and hands-on experiences, which will help us become globally competitive in our future profession.
To our dean, Dr. Yolanda Arugay, for guiding us and believing in our capabilities. You inspired us to persevere and excel. To you we are very grateful….
To our beloved professors, for your painstaking guidance, motivation and unselfish dedication to your profession in training future nurses.
To our dear families and loved ones, especially to our parents for your unconditional support, sacrifices and inspiration… For showering us with your unselfish love and for being there to guide us since the day we were born. We owe you all our successes.
To my fellow graduates, I would like to congratulate you for a job well done. When we become nurses…the possibilities are endless… We know that every day we will step into people’s lives and we will make a difference. Just remember that when we become nurses very soon we should be open minded, flexible, compassionate and humble since we will be caring for and working with people of every race, religion, culture, gender, age and education. And lastly, we should always strive for excellence in our fields. In everything that we do, we should always give it our best shot.
And above all, to the Almighty God for continuously showering us with His blessings, guidance, and for giving us the opportunity, wisdom and inspiration to follow our dream of becoming stewards of humanity. Praise Him!
Before I end my speech, let me share with you a very important Bible verse that really touched my life…This is taken from the book of Proverbs 3:5 and it goes like this: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.
Ladies and Gentlemen…again we are deeply honored to have you with us to witness this momentous event in our lives. Thank you very much and good day to all of you.

The Most Outstanding ESLR Alumni of 2007

I would just like to congratulate the following ESLR Alumni for being awarded as:


"The Most Outstanding ESLR Alumni of 2007"

1. Liza Goylos ( Field: Advertising, Valedictorian 1999)

2. Lani Diana Santos (Field: Nursing and Psychology, Valedictorian 2001)

3. Tanya Olarte (Field: MassCommunications, Valedictorian 2001)

4. Marysol Mandapat (Field: Business)


(quoted from the plaque)....awarded for their distinguished educational and professional achievement, and bringing recognition to their alma mater through outstanding service and significant contribution to their community, state and nation. The award was given last September 22, 2007 as part of the ESLR Foundation Week Celebration.


Keep up the good work and continue to strive for excellence in your own fields... :-)

US Demand For Nurses To Remain High In Next Decade

Category: Nursing

MANILA, Philippines -- The demand for nurses in the United States will remain high for the next 10 years, according to an official of the US National Council of State Boards of Nursing (NCSBN).

An initial group of examinees took the National Council Licensure Examination at the first NCLEX testing center in the country on Thursday.

"The nursing shortage is still significant and research still indicates that there is a future anticipated shortfall of more than a million nurses in the US," Casey Marks, NCSBN associate executive director, told reporters in an interview.The shortage is worldwide, according to Marks. In the US -- a preferred destination of many Filipino nurses -- "there is certainly a significant demand for a long period of time," he said.With opportunities looming ahead, Marks said he would encourage more Filipinos to take up nursing as a profession.

"That's one of the reasons we are here," added Robert Whelan, president of Pearson Vue, which owns and operates NCLEX testing centers in various parts of the world, including the first center in the Philippines, located at the Trident Towers on Gil Puyat Avenue, Makati City.Ninety "candidates" took the NCLEX, among them 43-year-old Benjie Almonte, a mechanical engineer by profession.

Almonte, a father of five, arrived at the testing center at 7 a.m., two hours ahead of the scheduled start of the exam.He told a local television that he reviewed hard for the exams because he wanted to work in the US as a nurse.

High security were being implemented at the testing center, following measures that established the identity of the examinee and ensure that there would be no distractions during the exam, Marks said.

"The licensure practice is a matter of public safety. We want to make sure that that person is who they say they are. In fact, a number of US states require background checks," he added.

The opening of the NCLEX testing center signified the NCSBN's confidence in the Philippines, despite the leakage in the 2006 nursing licensure board exam that nearly dashed that batch of Filipino nurses' dream of working in the US."While the exam leakage was a matter of concern while we evaluated Manila as a testing location, we had our stipulated criteria from the very beginning, issues of national security, exam security, intellectual property concern, the issue of the number of candidates who will take the exam to make it financially worthwhile," Marks said.

"The exam leakage was just a pause in the process, it never really truly impacted on the evaluation and the criteria (to make Manila a testing center)," he said.Marks said that in any testing center, even in the US, problems could arise that may even lead to its closure.

"There always are individual candidates who do incredible things and sometimes they work with coaching schools in the wrong way," he said.

Both Marks and Whelan stressed the importance of having a "good partner on the ground," the local agency that would be able to address such problems.

The NCSBN and Pearson Vue have partnered with the Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) for the administration of the NCLEX in the Philippines.

The NCLEX testing center in Manila is Pearson's biggest, with 45 seats, according to Whelan.The NCLEX is one of the major requirements for a foreign nurse to be able to get a license to work in the US.

"Once you have the license to practice, it certainly improves the odds of getting a visa to work in the US. The idea of bringing the exam to local constituents (like in Manila) will help facilitate that process to identify for US authorities people who have high probability of gaining employment as nurses," Marks said.

Whelan said 90 examinees were set to take the NCLEX daily, and around 4,000 have been scheduled to take the exam.

Foreigners can also take the NCLEX at the Makati City testing center, he added.

Source:

By Nikko Dizon Source: Inquirer Last updated 08:37pm (Mla time) 08/23/2007

Update: Results Of The June 2007 Nursing Board/Licensure Exam

Category: Nursing

According to Pinoy BSN, results of the June 2007 Nursing Board/Licensure Exam will be released end of August as also reported previously:“The release of the June 2007 nursing licensure examination results will be out by August 15 or 17 up to 31 at the Professional Regulation Commission office in Manila”.

Oathtaking is scheduled on October 2, 2007.

Source:
http://salaswildthoughts.blogspot.com/2007/07/release-of-june-2007-nursing-board-exam.html

I Miss Going To School...

Category: Random Ramblings

I must say that I miss going to school...
I miss those sleepless nights munching nuts and gulping coffee while reading a tantamount worload of psychology and nursing textbooks...

Now, I am about to plan my future and I am at a lost..
I thought it was easy to decide when you have already two diplomas but I guess being at the fork of the road is the hardest time in my life given all the trials that came my way this year...

I am also overwhelmed my the endless possibilities and opportunities waiting for me..
I wish I could have someone by my side to give me a sound advice such as my beloved mother...
However, she is an angel now...

and in tough times like this I have no one to depend on but myself...
I know that with God's grace I can surpass all of these trials...

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: June 25, 2007

My Mother --- God's Gift To Our Family

Category: Random Ramblings

( a story I wrote when my mother was still alive)

My mom was always there by my side. She was always there for me whenever I needed her. She helps me finish my homework, take care of me when I’m sick, feed me when I’m hungry and put me to bed. She sees to it that I study my lessons well. She also prays with me before I sleep at night. Mom was the best gift God had ever given our family.

But life wasn’t always a bed of roses. Time came when she needed me and my family too. I was twelve years old then and my younger sister was eight. We were too young to be tasked with a very huge responsibility during those times but we had no choice. Our mom was pregnant with our supposed to be third sibling but she was unhealthy and her blood pressure soared up. I don’t really know what happened that very day but my mom was in a coma for five weeks before she became conscious. She was unconscious during those five weeks. I don’t know how I could help her so I just held her hands and prayed with my sister and my dad.It was those times when God had tested our faith. Our mom had a 50-50 chance of survival. Our sister died in her womb after 3 weeks.

Mom was a very strong woman. She gathered up her strength and faith to survive. We were in despair but our faith was strengthened. We held on.Our mom awoke one day. She recognized us and called us to come beside her. She embraced us and enveloped us with her love for us. There were tears in her eyes. Those were tears of love and joy. God was really amazing. He gave her back to us because we still needed our mom.

Right now, mom has fully recovered. Our bonds became stronger than ever after that nightmare eight years ago. I love my mom very much and she loves me too. I can see her working hard just to send me to a good school. She always prays with me and she sets me a good Christian example. Mom was my best friend and my model. I always look up to her. She’s truly God’s gift to us. I just hope and pray to God that I will also be like her when I’m already a mom myself.

Is Alcoholism a Disease?

Category: Psychology

Yes, I think that alcoholism is a disease. It is something called a Substance Related Disorder. The craving of the alcohol is so strong that an alcoholic will continue to drink despite serious family, health, or legal problems. The person will eventually experience tolerance and withdrawal reactions ( Davison, 2001). His drinking becomes out of control. He has difficulty to stop the habit. His addictions becomes so strong that his whole life would be affected. In other words, he becomes disabled in some important area of his life. Alcoholism causes poor work performance, quarrels with family and friends, violence, aggressiveness and accidents while driving. According to Uihealthcare, alcoholism, like many other diseases, is chronic, meaning that it lasts a person's lifetime; it usually follows a predictable course; and it has symptoms. The risk for developing alcoholism is influenced both by a person's genes and by his or her lifestyle. The following is an article from Uihealthcare which gave reasons as to why alcoholism has been labeled a disease.

ALCOHOLISM: A DISEASE

In 1956, the American Medical Association decided that alcoholism is a disease, however more than 30 years later this is still debated in certain circles. Besides the medical opinion, there are many others (e.g., legal, sociological, religious) which derive from any number of social pressures. For example, the Supreme Court recently decided that the Veteran's Administration could consider alcoholism an individual choice rather than a disease. This decision, in many peoples' opinion, was made because of the financial implication related to "Service-connected Disability" payments rather than the merits, or lack thereof, of alcoholism as a disease. This in only one example of the many biased opinions (including the medical one) on whether or not alcoholism is a disease.

What does support the concept of alcoholism as a disease?

There is an abundance of information. Alcoholism is often compared to diabetes. Most people are able to eat carbohydrates and metabolize them without difficulty, however this is not the case with people who have diabetes mellitus. Many years ago, we had no idea why people with diabetes got into metabolic difficulty but now we know that it is because of an intrinsic lack of insulin and that this is genetically determined. There is a list of progressive symptoms related to diabetes: polyuria, polydipsia, weight loss, blurred vision, and nausea and vomiting are seen acutely. If the disease goes on untreated, then there is end organ failure disease goes on untreated, then there is end organ failure and patients with diabetes develop failure of their vision and kidneys as well as significant cardiovascular disease with heart attack and stroke. How does one treat this problem? The patient needs insulin and a very controlled lifestyle diet, exercise and very special attention to one's habits. This will at least slow down the progression of the disease.

The same concepts of "disease" apply to alcoholism, and the progression of the disease was defined by Jellinek and is shown on the attached was defined by Jellinek and is shown on the attached Jellinek chart. Alcoholism is a progressive and terminal disease if no intervention occurs. It is clear that alcoholism fits the definition of a disease, and there is additional supportive evidence of this concept based on recent research and literature.

References:
www.gmu.edu/facstaff/facultyfacts/1-1/alcohsm.html
www.uihealthcare.com/topics/alcoholproblems/ alco4133.html
Davison, G.C. and Neale, J.M. (2001). Abnormal Psychology. 8th edition. New York: John Wiley and Sons, Inc.

Hypnotism: The Power Of Mind Over Matter

Category: Psychology

“You are feeling sleepy – very sleepy,” the surgeon said as he inserted the needle into the patient’s flesh. The patient was not anesthetized but instead, he was hypnotized and he felt nothing. How did that happen?

Questions started to whirl in my head as I continued reading the Reader’s Digest magazine in my hand. I stumbled upon several true to life stories and news reports about hypnotism, which caused me to develop a keen interest about it. So, it was because of this that I decided to do a research about hypnotism in our Communication 2 class. I started to visit websites, magazines and spent hours in the library to have a background information since I have a very little idea about hypnotism.

I found out that hypnosis is a method of alternative healing. It is a simple, natural state of focused concentration that can allow us to use our own tapped resources to overcome our bad habits and feed ourselves positive images that can have a profound impact on our everyday lives. We can do hypnosis with a therapist or we can do it ourselves, a technique called self-hypnosis.No one knows why, but hypnosis does seem to work for certain conditions. Scientists speculate that they clearly occur because of the connections between the mind and the body. Suggestions have the capacity to affect all the systems and organs of the body in a variety of ways.

Scientists also believe that most illnesses are rooted from the subconscious problems of the mind rather than from actual infections or injuries. According to Dr. Dabney Ewin, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Louisiana State University, “ In almost every medical problem people have, there is a significant overlay of anxiety and tension”. This is why hypnotism was found very effective in boosting athletic performance, like in the case of Mary Lou Retton. Time Magazine reported that Mary Lou Retton, an Olympic gymnast, do visualization before her events to achieve top performance, which is a form of self-hypnotism. Mary Lou always perfectly imagined in her mind her gymnastic routines and developed a positive attitude that she would win the game. The results, of course, were great performances accompanied by gold medals, prestige and wealth. When she was asked what could she advise the all the other athletes and aspiring athletes, she just smiled and said, “It is all down to the power of thought”.

Hypnotism was also effective in losing weight, developing positive outlook in life, stopping smoking and use of drugs, reducing pain, preparing people for anesthesia and enhancing memory and mind power. It can also be used for overcoming fears and phobias, eliminating emotional problem and depressions, overcoming insomnia, overcoming inferiority, and anxiety and other character disorders. It was also very helpful in treating psychosomatic diseases such as asthma, high blood pressure, impotence and migraine.

How does it work? Hypnotism works by the power of suggestion. While in a hypnotic trance, the client accepts everything the therapist suggests. The positive ideas and images in turn will be stored in his mind. So by the power of his mind and by thinking positively, the body is likely to follow. For example, the therapist might suggest a person with insomnia that he will be able to sleep peacefully through the night etc.

Hypnotism, if used properly, can therefore be helpful in healing psychosomatic illnesses that might affect us. Although very useful, it should go hand in hand with proper medical attention, a positive outlook in life and a strong faith in God, our creator.

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: 2002

What are the possible family influences on Schizophrenia?

Category: Psychology News

The idea that families cause disturbed experiences, or more specifically that parents are responsible if their children have psychotic experiences, was popular in the 1960s. A term 'schizophrenogenic (schizophrenia-causing) mother' was even developed. These mothers were characterized as rejecting overprotective, self-sacrificing,, impervious to the feelings of others, rigid and moralistic about sex and fearful of intimacy (Davison et.al., 2001)

According to Davison (2001), aside from the influence given above, some findings also suggests that the faulty communication of parents may play a key role in the development of schizophrenia in their siblings. In connection with this, several groups of adolescents were studied with their families and consequently, the results showed that the hypothesis was significant.

Aside from the faulty communication of parents, another influence on the development of schizophrenia might be the high levels of conflict that exists within the family of the individual. In addition, the mistreatment of the family and lack of expression of emotion might also contribute to the disorder.

Recent research has suggested that, as with other problems, difficult family relationships in childhood and adolescence may be an important contributing factor for some people, but not all. It is unlikely that we will ever be able to say with any certainty exactly which combination of factors, in what proportions, has caused any one individual to develop psychotic experiences at a particular time.

However, research has revealed an important role the family can play in helping in the recovery of a person with psychotic experiences. In particular, attitudes of friends and relatives towards the person, and how they understand and react to the person's experiences are very important. They can also influence the extent to which the person is able to recover.

References:
Davison, G.C. & Neale, J.M (2001). Abnormal psychology. (8th ed.). New York: John Wiley
and Sons, Inc.
British Psychological Society web site. Available URL: mentalhealthcare.org.uk/schizophrenia/ causes/familyrelationships

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: 2004

My Role As A Nurse At A Global Perspective

Category: Random Ramblings

A nurse is a health care professional, who is engaged in the practice of nursing. Nurses are men and women who are responsible (with others) for the safety and recovery of acutely ill or injured people, health maintenance of the healthy, and treatment of life-threatening emergencies in a wide range of health care settings.

I plan to be a culturally competent person who provides holistic nursing care to a variety of individuals, families, & communities. As a future nurse of the land, I plan to render my services for a few years in our country first before going abroad to help other people in their health care.

To be able to do this is a challenge because I am just a student now without an extensive knowledge or experience in the field. As such, to be able to be a nurse at a global perspective requires competency. To acquire competency, I should know how to integrate the cultural beliefs, values, & practices of individual, families & communities not only of Filipinos but of all the clients of different nationalities into relevant nursing therapeutics with increasing self-direction. Moreover, I should learn how to incorporate the culturally-tied health beliefs & practices to facilitate the client or the patient's abilities to maximize their own health potential.

And as what our professors have told us, nursing is becoming transcultural, meaning that the nursing practice will extend through human cultures. When we graduate, we should render efficient nursing care to all individuals irregardless of race, creed or nationality…That is my role as a nurse at a global perspective.

Three Things I Wish I Have Right Now

Category: Random Ramblings

Three Things I Wish I Have Right Now:

1) A Singing talent

I have dreamed to be a diva since I was a kid. I imagined that I was Celine Dion or Britney Spears singing their hearts out and being applauded by a great number of fans. I have thought about this idea all the time. I really longed for the their talent and their charisma every time they are on stage. It seems they have the magic of drawing their fans into them. Of course, that seems impossible so right now I have narrowed down my wish from being a diva to being just a person who knows how to sing. "Kahit na ano basta marunong lang kumanta puwede na yun", I told myself. You might be wondering why I am writing this down since I am supposed to write down a personality trait but I can't help but include this because I have been yearning this talent since I was a kid. I am a good dancer but singing is one of the things that I cannot do. It is one of my frustrations in life. But then again, nobody is perfect right? However, if I am given the chance to take up singing lessons again..I will. I want to join the singing searches someday. And better yet, I want to establish my own choir or singing group in a church and touch the hearts of the people by our wonderful melodies. That is one reason why I want this talent… I do not know if I can still acquire this since I am already an adult but I hope that someday I can help build a congregation. If not a singer, I'll be a pianist since I know how to play the piano.

2) A Sense of Humor

Humor is the mental faculty of discovering, expressing or appreciating ludicrous or absurdly incongruous elements in ideas or situations. It is something that we enjoy, and we derive amusement from it.

I wish I had more sense of humor. My mother always tells me to loosen up because I am very serious at times but I can't help it because I really have a serious personality. I told her I cannot change that easily. I try to joke sometimes but it doesn't always work. Only a few people laugh at my jokes which means I am not effective. However, my mother told me that taking serious things lightly can often give us a better sense of perspective. Laughing also releases pent-up emotional energy because it even relieves our stress and cure our illnesses. I told her I'll try to do so. Nevertheless, I sometimes envy other people who cracks jokes and laugh so easily. It looks as if they only take things nonchalantly. Also, according to my mother, it prevents headaches and forehead wrinkles from forming. Her advice?

• Read or listen to humorous stories or books- I like reading Pugad Baboy and jokes in the Reader's Digest.
• Try to remember a few jokes that you like and try telling them to your friends. - I am not very effective at this because I forget most of the jokes that I have heard. I am not good in remembering their jokes.
• Avoid jokes that can hurt or offend other people. A lot of jokers tell jokes about facial abnormalities, sex jokes/green jokes and other jokes that make other people feel bad. However, I sometimes ask why do we laugh at other people's absurdities or mistakes. Why do other people's blunder amuses us? That, I do not know.
• Learn to laugh at your own mistakes and blunders. Learn to laugh with others, enjoy and appreciate the things around you.
• Take things lightly.

Whenever you have a problem or something is bothering you, do not sulk in your room and fret. Just pray and laugh and you will realize that the solution is just there around you.
And so, I promised my mother that I'll try to have a good sense of humor in the future.

3) Patience

It is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. It is also a feeling of peace, contentment, and satisfaction that you are on the path to recovery and personal growth.

I must confess that I am an impatient person. I do not want to wait for a long time. When I am made to wait for a long duration, I feel tense and edgy. I even feel angry. This is one of the reasons why I dropped all my job applications two months ago. Well, I thought that I graduated from a good school with a good course so why am I being made to wait. When I graduated, I applied for jobs. After two months without phone calls of acceptance from my target companies, I got impatient, stopped applying for jobs and enrolled in Nursing. When I enrolled, phone calls just kept coming. This is my tremendous lesson of patience but I have no regrets whatsoever. I learned that by being impatient I:

• Run the risk of always being dissatisfied, upset, and angry at myself for my slow pace of growth and change.
• Become a member of the "throw away'' generation, discarding relationships, people, jobs, and school whenever things are not working out as quickly as I want them to.
• Be in such a hurry that I neglect to count my blessings and see how far I have come.
  But how do I acquire or develop this positive virtue? Perhaps I should modify my spiritual perspective to include God as a guide on this journey. I should be ready and willing to face my challenges as my strive for personal growth. I should also live my life one day at a time and live my life to the fullest.

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: 2005

Movie: Pay It Forward

Category: Movies

I remember the time when I was in college a few years ago when my professor in Personality Psychology mentioned his favorite movie while discussing our topic of the day: altruism. Altruism is a term that refers to doing good deeds and service work for others out of the goodness of one's own heart and without expecting anything in return. He recommended the class to watch the movie "Pay it Forward" and see if it will also touch our lives as it touched his. I can say that it is a movie from the heart that connects with the heart.

The film revolves around Trevor and all the people around him. The climax started when their class was assigned to think of an idea to change the world and put it into action. For me, Trevor's idea was absolutely brilliant for it is better to put the good deed forward to three other people and try to make a difference in their lives than returning it back to the person who gave it to you. Now, two years later, watching it again brings back old memories, fresh tears and somehow makes me wonder for a second time if I can also change the world like what Trevor did in the movie. I have also doubted its possibility many times for I have speculated deep in my mind that it is not in our human nature to be truly altruistic. Such a person only exists in a perfect world…in a realm which we call Utopia. However, try as I might, I now realize that nothing is impossible with God and it is now up to us if we can make it possible. I must admit that it is undoubtedly challenging to think of something I can do to others…something that I can do to really help them.

After hours of pondering, I decided that the help should not really be something that people cannot accomplish on their own like what Trevor did. Maybe, I can be able to make a difference in my own little way even though it is not something very very immense. ..First, I can be able to render my help to anyone without counting how many I've helped. Second, I can share the Gospel with other people. When I was in college, my classmate gave me one to one sessions about certain topics about the Bible and about the Christian life. After the lessons, I was expected to do the same way so I decided to choose my mother as my student… It's is also up to me if I want to share it with more people..The idea was great but I was not able to finish the lessons with my mother. I cannot just sit back, relax and let the idea atrophy.

The movie somehow woke me up from my deep slumber because I have been dealing with only the earthly things that I do day after day these past few months. I can sense that something is missing in my life right now. My plan at the moment is to continue what I stopped doing which I have mentioned above. And as what Trevor said, we should not just give up because when we do, everybody kind of loses. I think I can in one way or another help others and change the world by doing that.

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: October 2006

Heart to Heart Talk With My Little Sister

Category: Random Ramblings

It is normal to get confused and wonder about who we really are as individuals. All of us encounter the stage wherein we experience our own search of identity and roles. Sometimes we ask ourselves who we are and what we want to do with our lives. Sometimes we feel so torn because we are not so sure about ourselves anymore………

I set up an interview with my younger sister the other day. She was way too busy but she couldn't say no to me either. So in other words, I just squeezed the interview into her schedule. And because of this, she was not in a very good mood and she kept saying "bilisan mo, dito na lang kasi". I didn't want to rush her so I just told her to finish what she was doing and left. It was an hour after she went to my room and settled on my bed.

Before the interview, I didn’t feel comfortable. First, I was already sleepy and I can tell that she has still a lot of things to do. Second, my sister is very reactive when it comes to interviews. I guess she is not used to being interviewed because she feels being interrogated so she kept saying "ano na naman ba yan?". Third, I didn't feel that she would cooperate because she's not really serious when I talk with her. When we talk, she would just joke around and blabber most of the time.

Even though that was the case, I chose her because there was a compelling force that made me choose her. I was supposed to interview my friend and if not, my dad but it did not push through so I chose my sister instead. I'm not sad about what happened and I'm not regarding my sister as a great substitute, don't misinterpret me here. I just felt that I wanted to be closer with my sister and know her more especially when it comes to the family issues that she wanted to talk about.

We talked about her weaknesses and strengths, expectations of our parents and what she felt about those expectations. First, she told me she was not close with our father since he was always out of the country during the first 12 years of her life ( she's 15 years old now). Because of this, there was always this line between them. She couldn't voice out everything on her mind when dad is around. Her exact words were:

Pag nandyan si daddy sinasala ko yung sinasabi ko. Kung kayo lang ni mommy, okay lang na language bading yung gamitin ko. Pero pag nandyan si daddy, dapat ayusin ko yung sinasabi ko dahil baka pagalitan ako kung ganon ako magsalita. ( Krizia/ 8-19)

Second, she told me that she was confused with her role. In school, she is superior among her classmates but in the family she feel inferior. When I asked her why she just shrugged and said that she was always being compared to me….as in always. Since she could not surpass me in terms of academics, she felt that she was seen as inferior. She stressed that we are different and we are both intelligent in different areas of interest.

The third issue that she raised was about the value of worth. When she talked about it, her tears just kept falling. She was always emotional when it comes to this topic. According to her:

Minsan..kunwari (cries) kasi sa school mataas ako. Dito sa bahay mababa ako. Halimbawa pag naguuwi ako ng medal ng alas-kuwatro hanggang alas-sinko lang yan. Pagdating ng 6 wala na nakalimutan na. Gusto ata nila kung meron lang mas mataas sa top 1 yung ang gusto nilang abutin ko. Gusto nilang lahat abutin ko pero dito wala…..parang wala bang mas iaangat yan. Cream of the crop na nga ako sa school eh tapos ganon pa rin. Hindi lang naman ako nagkakaroon ng medal para ma-appreciate nila. At least naaapreciate ako ng iba. Hindi ako open dito kasi hindi naman ako napapansin….

I have come to the realization that my sister was right. My parents, especially my dad, would pressure my sister to reach for the top and always compare her with me. When she shows her certificates our dad just smiles and says " Wow, ang galing" in comparison with my " Wow, ang talino nagmana yan sa akin" and brags about it the whole evening. I felt crying with my sister. I see someone who is searching for identity, who is striving harder and who is just being to herself and letting her heart out. I think she should not be compared with a person who is entirely different from her.

I just urged her to talk what was on her mind and let her air her angst. She told me all her weaknesses and strengths. I asked her how could she turn her weaknesses into strengths. She worked it out by talking to herself and recording it in the cassette. She also directed some of her messages to mom and dad.

I'll never be Ate Lala…at sana naman maging consistent kayo mommy….

What we did was a heart to heart talk. I am quite domineering at times but that day was different. I gave her total acceptance as my sister, affirming her worth and very being. I did not judge her and intimidate her like I would normally do ( sometimes) . I myself have very high expectations on my sister. I wanted her to be like this and that. I want her to aim high and reach for the top and read all her books. I guess I have a part to play too.

In the end I advised her to do what she want and enjoy doing. In other words, just be herself. I told her that our parents do not really want to put her down. Sometimes, maybe they are also being unfair but perhaps they have high expectations on her because they can see that she can do it. I think my sister should not just keep silent. When she feels something is not right, she should be transparent enough with the family and point it out. We hugged each other in the end. It was a really a very nice conversation with my sister because I learned what she felt. I also told her the purpose of the interview and explained to her unconditional positive regard in layman's terms. She was very inquisitive. In fact, she wanted to take BS Psych in the future. …

Message to my sister:

I love you sis. You don't know how much you mean to me.

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: August 20, 2003

I Trained Pigeons..would you imagine?

Category: New Discoveries

I would never forget that time when our professor in Learning Psychology tasked us to learn something extraordinarily new for that semester. I don't know what sinked into me but I decided that I would train two pigeons in the Skinner box.

(A Skinner Box is a often small chamber that is used to conduct operant conditioning research with animals. Within the chamber, there is usually a lever (for rats) or a key (for pigeons) that an individual animal can operate to obtain a food or water within the chamber as a reinforcer. The chamber is connected to electronic equipment that records the animal's lever pressing or key pecking, thus allowing for the precise quantification of behavior.)

The pigeon was supposed to be a supplemental learning activity for me. What happened was, it became my one and only project besides the optional paper about training. Hence, I paired up with my friends – Henry, Sab and Toni. I was very blessed to have responsible and motivated group mates like them. We thought that the topic was very exciting and sometimes referred to it as cool and astig.

Our first task was to buy 2 pigeons. We had a lot of adventures and misadventures on the way. It was Sab who was able to get hold of Maximus (pigeon 1) and I was the one who bought Dao (pigeon 2) from the pet shop last December. Dao was already a peculiar bird from the very start. According to the attendant, Dao was an imported pigeon. Maybe he was raised in the wild because I have observed that he was not used to the presence of humans. Whenever I would feed him (I don’t know if it’s a he or a she), he would raise his head and heave his wings as if he was going to a battle. He would always peck my hand ferociously. That was the best term for his behavior. I started to acquire a “fear of pigeon pecks” but I was able to uncondition it when Dao died. Dao would not also eat whenever someone was watching him. But whenever one would leave or hide, makikiramdam muna siya then he would eat his food hungrily.

Dao was also very fat. He has almost twice the body size of Maximus. Come January, when we started training them, starvation has to take place. We have to deprive them of food and water so our reinforcer will be more effective. I don’t know whether we were right in starving them at the same rate. We treated them equally even though they had different body sizes. Unfortunately, Dao was not able make it. I saw him the day before he died and he was just sitting there, very serene and peaceful. I had no idea that he would die the next day. His feces were already sickly green. Although he was not able to learn the target behavior, at least he was able to peck under the light source. He only went that far. That behavior took us 4 sessions for Dao unlike Maximus who was able to learn the behavior immediately after the first session.

Maximus, on the other hand, was a local pigeon. Compared with Dao, he was used to the presence of humans and he was cooperative right from the very start of the training. I have also observed that his reflexes were active when I was trying to place my finger or use whatever stimulus there was, Maximus would always follow the object or he would always move his head in the direction of the stimulus. And so, we were not startled when Maximus was able to perform the expected behavior after the first session of the formal training. As what we have said before, it was not really about teaching them how to peck but conditioning them to peck. There was a food aperture that was presented immediately as a reinforcer for the performance that was to be conditioned, which was, pecking the illuminated key. Nevertheless, it was still extraordinary because we were able to witness how animals learn. I would never have imagined that creatures such as pigeons would learn that fast. Moreover, when presented with the stimulus 1 or 2 days after the first session, the pigeon would still have the memory of what behavior to perform.

The first thing we have to know was how to operate the machine. Given the complex connections, we were only able to know the first set of wirings (the timer and reinforcement). I am not an expert when it comes to electronics so I was only able to memorize the connections. I was not able to understand the flow of the electrical current since we were pressed for time. The next step was the exposure of the pigeon to the unfamiliar surroundings. Maximus and Dao were fed in the Skinner box for 2 days so they would get used to the surroundings until it can no longer generate disruptive behaviors. Then, successive approximation was applied to condition the pigeon to peck the illuminated disk. At first, the performance that approximates the goal behavior was reinforced. After the pigeon was able to do it, the criterion was lifted, for example, to a higher level of head raising or when the pigeon looks directly at the illuminated window. This process continued until the pigeon’s behavior was shaped into a new form.

Maximus was able to perform the desired behavior during the first session of “fixed-ratio”. He was able to peck from five and even up to thirty times. However, the “fixed-interval” was not that successful. I think that the pigeon was not able to discriminate the kind of light and the timing. He was quite confused and distracted when we changed the light to yellow to red and back again. He would look out of the window, go around the box or peck at the unlit keys. The last behavior we taught Maximus was a 360 degrees counter clockwise turn / walking in a circle. Maximus was really an intelligent subject. Even Kuya Milo was amazed. The next time around, I want to learn how to train pigeons to be messengers. The effort really pays off.

To end this chronicle, all I can say is that learning happens all the time, wherever we are and in whatever we do. It is in fact a continuous process. Through all these activities, we have appreciated the concept even more. We have witnessed how it occurs in a more scientific level not only in humans but also in animals such as pigeons as well. I am also thankful that I was given the chance to use the Skinner Box even once in my life. I would only encounter the equipment in Psychology books before and now I am proud to say that I have already operated it. Some of my friends who are also Psychology students from other schools became green with envy whenever I would brag about our project. I firmly believe that studying should not only be “concept” bound but it should have practical applications as well. What an experience! Moreover, our class in learning was satisfying in a way because we were left to discover things on our own.

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: 2004

Namaste!

Category: New Discoveries

When we met our professor for the first time last week, I learned an Indian gesture or term that I could or rather the class could never forget. Up to now, when we see each other in the corridors and hallways or feel stressed due to our schoolwork and hospital duty, we greet each other "namaste my friend". According to our professor, the gesture of namaste is a simple act made by bringing together both palms of the hands before the heart, and lightly bowing the head. In the simplest of terms it is accepted as a humble greeting straight from the heart and reciprocated accordingly.

When I did my research, I found out that Namaste is a composite of the two Sanskrit words, nama, and te. Te means you, and nama has the following connotations:to bend, to bow, to sink, to incline or to stoop.All these suggestions point to a sense of submitting oneself to another, with complete humility.

Simply put, namaste intimates the following: "The God in me greets the God in youThe Spirit in me meets the same Spirit in you'. In other words, it recognizes the equality of all, and pays honor to the sacredness of all since we are all God's creation and we are created in His own image and likeness.

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: February 2006

Parang Isang Lapis Lamang...

Category: Random Ramblings (ver: Tagalog)

Ang buhay pala natin ay tila isang lapis….Sa umpisa mahaba pero darating ang panahon na tulad ng isang lapis, tayo ay mauupod din. May mga panahong masaya ngunit may mga panahong tayo ay natatasa. Kung minsan tayo ay nagkakamali ngunit maaari naman itong mabura at mabago. At sa bawat hakbang tungo sa dulo ng bawat pahinang ating sinusulatan, tayo ay nag-iiwan ng marka.

Noong ako'y musmos pa lamang…napakarami ko nang tanong sa aking ama. Minsan pa nga napapansin kong nakukulitan na siya sa akin. Sa edad na tatlong taon..umaakyat ako sa bakuran ng aming bahay at magbibilang ng 1 hanggang 100…minsan ang mga titik sa alpabeto pa nga. Wala akong sawang magtanong.. bakit asul ang langit, bakit minsan may araw minsan naman ay madilim, sino si Jesus at nang ang kapatid ko ay ipinanganak sa ospital lumapit ako sa kanya at tinanong kung paano nagkakababy…Mapasensya naman ang aking ama. Hindi ko alam kung gusto lang niya akong tumigil o matiyaga talaga siyang magturo sa isang batang katulad ko. Hindi ko lubos maisip ang misteryo na bumabalot sa ating mundo noong ako'y musmos pa lamang……

Noong ako ay tumuntong ng mababang paaralan, pinag buti ko ang aking pag-aaral. Lagi nga wala noon ang aking ama dahil siya ay isang geologist sa ibang bansa. Hindi na kami masyadong nagkikita pero sabi ko kaya ko naman mag-aral at sagutin ang mga tanong na naglalaro sa aking isipan. Hindi ako mahilig sa mga laruan o makipaglaro sa mga kapitbahay. Naalala ko na hindi ako masyadong binibilhan ng maynika o kung ano lang na mga laruan. Dapat daw educational sabi ng aking ama…lego, computer, building blocks at clay daw ang bilhin para daw mapagbuti ang imahinasyon ng mga bata. Hindi man lang ako nakaranas ng mga patintero masyado o tumbang preso o tagu-taguan dahil tago ako ng tago sa bahay…nakabaon sa aking mga libro. Ayos naman ang aking mga grado noon. Lahat sinasalihan ko na rin. Ang sabi ko nga sa aking sarili..minsan lang tayo mabuhay kaya naman gawin na natin ang lahat. Pinagbuti ko ang pagtugtog ng piano, pagtutula, pagsusulat ng mga kuwento, pagsasayaw at kung anu-ano pang puwedeng salihan sa paaralan. Nappatuloy ang ganito hanggang maabot ko ang mataas na paaralan at mapapunta sa unibersidad.

Naaalala ko ang mga panahon na ako ay naninirahan sa loob ng UP Campus. Isa itong paaralang ubod ng laki…parang higanteng lalamunin ang mga langgam na estudyanteng kumakaripas ng lakad para mag-aral. Walang ginawa kundi mag-aral…..sila ay papunta sa kani-kanilang mga silid aralan..kantina..silid aklatan o ang iba kahit sa may sunken garden, hagdan o kahit sa ilalim ng puno ayos na basta makapag-basa lang. Ako naman..nilalabas ko ang upuan ko mula sa kuwarto ng dormitoryo at maghahanap ng aking sariling puwesto kung saan ako ay makakapagmuni-muni…kahit saan basta malapit sa mga halaman. Sabi nila…mas maganda daw kapag ika'y mag-aral malapit sa mga halaman…madali mo daw maintindihan ang mga inaaral mo….di ko na alintana ang gutom o uhaw basta makapag-aral.

Pressured talaga ako noon. Bukod sa inaasahan ako ng aking mga magulang, kamag anak, kaklase at mga kaibigan na magtapos ng may titulo.. .ang mga kaklase ko ay mula sa mga science high schools. Napakagaling nilang sumagot sa klase at minamani lang ang mga exams. Kabado talaga ako noon kaya naman pag-aaral ko lamang ang aking pinagtuunan ng pansin. Bukod pa dito..napakalaki ng unibersidad.. nakakalito…nakakahilo….iba-iba ang mga tao…...personalidad, pananamit, pinanggalingan..mithiin…kurso. Tila ganito ang realidad…iba't iba talaga..ang daming puwedeng gawin..bahala ka na kung ano ang gusto mong gawin sa iyong buhay… bahala ka na talaga.

Ganon ang aking buhay noong 1st year college. Panay punta sa school, library tapos uwi sa dormitory…paulit ulit lang…may hinahabol kasi akong mga grado. Nakakasakit ng ulo at nakakapuyat pero kailangan…may dapat akong panindigan sa aking pamilya. Isa pa, mahirap magkamali…ayoko..di ako iyon. Sabi ko sa aking sarili dapat maging perpekto lahat ng aking gagawin. Walang panahon para magkamali subalit wala nang pagkakataon na maulit pa ang nangyari na…at isa pa..walang panahon para sa pag-ibig..wrong timing ito..isa lang ang gagawin tungo sa pangarap at iyon ay maging disiplinado sa pag-aaral…self control kung baga. Ang pinakamahalaga ay ang pinag-aralan at dito masusukat ang maarating ng tao sa kaniyang buhay. Education bring success daw….sabi nila.

Paulit-ulit…..parang isang tape recorder…ngunit ako ay masaya naman…hanggang sa dumating ang panahon na hindi namin inaasahan. Sinugod na naman namin ang aming ina sa ospital…halos kulay asul na naman siya…cyanotic daw…hirap' talaga huminga. Siya ang dahilan kung bakit gusto ko maging duktor. Bata pa lang ako sabi ko gusto ko mag medisina kasi gusto ko siyang magamot. Sa aking tanang buhay…parang pangalawang bahay ko na ang ospital. Sana'y na akong sinusugod siya sa ospital kung hirap na naman siyang huminga. Nasaulo ko na ang hitsura at amoy nito..Parang pinagahalong amoy ng swimming pool, alcohol at agua oxinada… Kahit nakapikit pa…Naririndi na din ako sa beep beep ng respirator o kaya ng call light. Minsan pa nga dito ko ginanap ang aking kaarawan…ika 13th na kaarawan ko iyon…at puro nakaputi ang aking mga bisita…sabi ng iba malas daw kapag 13 pero hindi ako naniniwala….

Noong sinugod siya sa ospital akala ko sandali lang kami noon ngunit nagkamali ako…Halos kalahating taon kami doon dahil pabalik balik ang kanyang sakit. Ang hirap talagang makita ang iyong mahal sa buhay na nagdurusa pero wala ka namang magawa…Pati bank account namin unti-unti na ring nagdurusa…Bakit pa kasi may nagkakasakit…? Bakit kailangan magdusa ang nanay? Hindi ko talaga mawari kung bakit..Simula nang ako ay ipinanganak hindi na mawala wala ang kanyang sakit. Ang tagal tagal namin sa ospital. Nakaka-stress talaga subalit habang nagbabantay ka nag-aaral ka…Minsan bigla na lang tutunog ang respirator o bigla na lang di ko makausap ng matino…parang gusto mo na mapaghinaan ng loob pero hindi puwede kasi kailangan ninyo ang isa't isa. Kailangan palaging nakangiti kapag nakaharap kay nanay…

Ganoon lamang ang buhay ko noon. Kapag okay naman ang kalusugan ng aming ina, palagi akong nasa dormitoryo at isang beses lamang sa isang linggo kung umuuwi. Kung may mangyari sa bahay…umuuwi agad ako. Matapos ang apat na taon, laking tuwa ko ng makuha ko ang aking hinahangad. Nandoon ang aking ama at kapatid noon para makasaksi ng isa sa mga napaka-espesyal na araw sa aking buhay. Hindi man nakapunta ang nanay, parang nandoon na rin naman siyang nakangiti sa aking tabi.

Ngayon, buhay pa rin ang nanay…Sabi nga ng aking ama daig pa daw niya ang pusa dahil ika-sampung buhay na niya yata ito…Hindi pa daw siya kinukuha ng Diyos kasi may misyon pa daw siya kailangang gampanan. Nakakatuwa naman kung ganon. Ang lakas kasi ng kanyang fighting spirit. Ganoon siguro talaga ang buhay…simple nga lang…ginagawa lamang kumplikado ng iba sa atin. Sa isip isip ko lang… kapag ikaw pala ay naghirap at nagdusa o masasabi mong narating mo na ang bingit ng kamatayan…doon mo matatanto kung ano lang talaga ang mahalaga sa iyong buhay. Noong mga panahong iyon…Diyos lamang ang aming gabay..siya lamang ang aming pinagkukunan ng lakas. Kahit na anong mangyari nandyan din ang aming pamilya…kahit na apat lang kami..matibay naman at matatag. Wala nang importante noon kundi iyon lang…ang Diyos at pamilya.

Ang buhay pala natin ay tila isang lapis….Sa umpisa mahaba pero darating ang panahon na tulad ng isang lapis, tayo ay mauupod din. Pero ayos lang naman kahit maupod basta naisulat ang kailangang isulat…...nagawa ang misyon sa buhay.

May mga panahong tuloy tuloy lang ang pagsulat ngunit may mga panahong tayo ay humihinto at natatasa. Kahit na masakit, tayo naman ay nagiging mas matalas..mas maalam kung kaya't mas maganda ang sulat. Ngunit hindi lamang panukat ang talas nito….tulad sa buhay..hindi lamang ang edukasyon ang batayan ng ating mararating. Ang ganda ng sulat ay produkto ng kaalaman, karanasan, prinsipyo at paninindigan ng isang tao. Ang nasa loob niya ang mahalaga....tulad ng isang lapis.

Kung minsan tayo ay nagkakamali ngunit maaari naman itong mabura at mabago. At ang panghuli, sa bawat hakbang tungo sa dulo ng bawat pahinang ating sinusulatan, tayo ay nag-iiwan ng marka…..markang sariling atin. Kung tayo lamang ay papayag na ang ating lapis ay hawakan ng Diyos, tiyak ang ating sulat ay gaganda…maupod man…ang buhay naman ay naging makabuluhan.

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: 2005

A visit to C.R.I.B.S. (An Act of Volunteerism)

Category: Arts, Places and Events

(photo: from Left, the author with her PWU friends)

C.R.I.B.S., as what we have discovered after our short briefing in Philippine Women's University (PWU), is an abbreviation for Creating Responsive Infants By Sharing. The center is made up of a compassionate, professional and responsive group of staff and volunteers committed to do the healing, recovery and development of abandoned, surrendered, neglected and sexually abused children and their families. And according to the information that I have read in their posters and displays, it is licensed by the DSWD as a child welfare agency. C.R.I.B.S. has a receiving home program that provides an alternative home environment for abandoned, surrendered and neglected children aged one day to 4 years old. It is maintained by a staff of professional caregivers and is able to support a maximum of 25 babies at any given time.

During the briefing, we were asked one by one about the reasons why we want to volunteer in that facility. Different thoughts encompassed my mind until I finally muttered that I want to volunteer myself because I want to apply what I have learned in theory as a nursing student and to be able to give myself to other people. I know that that phrase is already a cliché' but volunteering really gives me a good feeling that I am able to give some of my time and care for other people. It somehow gives me a sense of purpose and meaning.

After the briefing and changing of shirts and socks, we were assigned to the crawlers (less than 1 year old) and the toddlers ( 1 to 3 years old). It was Rica, Maa'm Tere and me who were assigned to the crawlers while Jack, Anna and Ate Linda marched to the second room to meet the toddlers. When we entered the room and saw the crawlers doing their own businesses, I began to ask myself "Why did their parents neglected them…?". They were like cute little angels. At first, I was kind of apprehensive to touch them because of the numerous rules that was mentioned to us a while ago for fear that I'll commit a mistake. One more thing also is that they are very small and fragile so I just observed them at first. I have noticed that the seven crawlers each had their own personalities. Leah was the first one that I carried and she really craves for attention. She knows how to move with the music and clap her hands. Rodel was also like Leah in the sense that they are very friendly toward their caregivers. They perform certain tricks and emanate certain smiles to catch your attention. Rico and Vincent, who were the smallest in the group, were the most behaved. Give them a book or a toy to read and they already transported to their own worlds. Ryan, who was a half Caucasian was also behaved at first but had tantrums after a while. The most difficult to handle was Alfred who I first saw in the slide shouting and crying for no reason at all. I was able to quiet him down when I put him beside the window but his tantrums began again when the story books were distributed among the crawlers. And lastly, I'm not sure if Nikki was the one who has cerebral palsy but she was the most quiet of the lot due to her condition. How time flies when you are really enjoying what you do because the 2 hours that we have spent with the kids were like only 30 minutes. After playing with them, looking after them and feeding them..we all said our goodbyes. I really love children so the time that we spent with them was a lot of fun and a memorable experience for us all.

Looking back, I learned that volunteerism is a virtue that we all have to acquire. It is through it that we are able to truly show the essence of altruism which is to help others and be of service to other people without expecting anything in return. The act of sharing was also emphasized. Second, I also realized how lucky I am to have responsible and loving parents who took care and watched over me and my sister over the years. The innocent children in C.R.I.B.S. were intentionally neglected and abandoned by people who call themselves parents. Those children should not suffer more and should be placed in the hands of qualified foster parents to allow them to experience the warmth of parental care and family life. And lastly, we were able to enjoy each others company and made new friends through this activity…old friends like Rica and new ones like Maam Tere, Ate Linda, Anna and Jack who also made my day worthwhile. I hope that Peer Facilitators Society of PWU would schedule more activities like this in the future because it is an activity which is very educational and meaningful. And I also hope that we visit C.R.I.B.S again. …

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: May 1, 2006

U.P. Oblation - One Of My Favorite Works of Arts In Campus

Category: Arts, Places and Events

It was Wednesday, the first day of Christmas vacation when I cruised around the campus to observe the different works of art. I’m not really concerned about it in the first place when our professor told us about it. Of course I am well aware of the more famous ones like the oblation by Guillermo Tolentino, the representation in front of the Business Administration and the Faculty Center Building. I was quite in awe when I discovered that there are a lot of arts inside the campus which were crafted by some of the famous painters and sculptors in our country. Well, I'm just going to ponder a upon my favorite artwork for now.

UP is very famous for its U.P. Oblation. It has become a major remnant in every UP campus. It has also become a symbolic link for the hundreds of thousands of the alumni and the Alma Mater. As far as I know, the nude figure of a man is a symbolic gesture of sacrificial offering of service to the country and humanity. It was a masterpiece of Filipino sculptor Guillermo Tolentino. It has also been said that Guillermo modeled the oblation after the late Fernando Poe Sr. The oblation, being the mascot or symbol of the whole UP system became a major rallying point point for all kinds of disagreements, protest actions, and social reproach, as well as expressions of public service, national loyalty, and patriotism. It also became the representative of the U.P. student’s unity, mission and vision.

I have also done quite a reading and research as to what the different parts of the statue represent. And I was very amazed to learn that the oblation wasn’t only about the gesture of offering. Instead, the nude man with outstretched arms and open hands, with tilted head, closed eyes and parted lips murmuring a prayer, with breast forward in the act of offering himself, is Guillermo’s own interpretation. The statue stands on a rustic base, a stylized rugged shape of the Philippine archipelago, lined with big and small hard rocks, each and everyone of which represents an island. At the foot of the figure he also put a cluster of he katakataka plant, symbolizing the deep-rooted patriotism in the heart of our heroes. The 3.5 meter height of the statue is representative of the 350 years of Spanish rule in the Philippines.

Indeed, I’m become very proud whenever I see the statue of the oblation. I don’t know why. One reason might be having the feeling that I’m a UP student and a part of the system or another is that seeing the gesture makes me feel patriotic myself. But I have a question though. Why did they added a leaf in the nude figure? Why did they leave it as that? If it is really a must to have a leaf in that part, then why did the oblation runners doesn’t have a leaf to cover their sexual organs? My..my it’s a wonderful thing to think about isn’t it? Maybe someone suggested to put a leaf for art’s sake and the runners doesn’t want to put the leaf because the run won’t be as thrilling and the view won’t be as breathtaking than what it was. Anyway, the oblation is the best work of art in the campus for me. :-)

Written By: Lani Diana Santos

Date: January 2002